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March 1, 2010

If I’m really honest with myself, I feel pretty insecure about being  a stay at home mom sometimes. Last week we had a gracious guest over for dinner, afterwards we sat down to continue chatting and getting to know each other. When he asked if I was going to return to work I had an all too familiar feeling in my chest: slight panic. “What about the $25,000 master’s degree you have? What about the fact that you’re capable of helping others through your profession and you’re not helping those people by staying at home? What about the millions and millions of mothers who work and parent their babies/children? You’re kind of lazy. Isn’t it indulgent to play all day and sew quilts? A lot of women would think of you as kind of simple. You’re putting a financial strain on your family by not pulling your share.

These are valid considerations and questions. And I’ve asked them, I ask them of myself often. I don’t know if I will return to work while I have children at home, but right now I have a quivering “peace” about being home with my baby/ies. I am learning that there are virtues of being a mother who stays at home beyond what is best for my children (which was the driving force behind why I decided to do this). Homemaking is a craft and an art. We know it’s important to prepare a home (John 14:2). I am humbly learning that my role during this phase of my life is to be ready for my husband to come home and have the energy to listen to his debriefing. I am learning that a warm meal can solve big problems. I am learning that a clean house can offer relaxation.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                God, only You can use Betty Crocker to give me validation in a way nothing else could.

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7 Comments leave one →
  1. Sheryl permalink
    March 1, 2010 11:17 pm

    I applaud you for what you are doing, Shannon. You’re creating a home and building a foundation of nurturing, bonding, peace, learning, contentment, joy, and discipline that will literally be passed down for generations. Never underestimate the value of the work of your hands and your heart and your soul. All that work will come into fruition, but it will be years before you see it. But trust me on this one, your investment will pay off. I love you so much. Keep going!

  2. March 2, 2010 12:15 am

    Shannon,
    It is hard to not feel the pull to work outside. I must confess that I miss working at times. It is a different kind of satisfaction.
    You are a great mom! Mothering is a strange, frustrating, amazing, inexplicable satisfaction. You can do it. I love the Betty Crocker thing….
    ~jen

  3. millison permalink
    March 2, 2010 2:42 am

    These thoughts are wise and true, Shannon. Being a stay-at-home mom IS work. It’s a full time job, 24/7. Only the brave, truly dedicated women can handle stay-at-home careers. As a very wise woman frequently reminds us: Why have a child if you’re going to have someone else [daycare and nannies] raise it? You are being your child’s mom, the highest calling there is. People ask about “returning to work” out of ignorance. You ARE working.

    You’re doing the right thing and I hope you continue on this path.

  4. March 2, 2010 11:41 am

    Thank you so much for your responses! Each of you have homemaking virtues that I respect and it means a lot to have your affirmation. I’m a blessed mama.

  5. sheryl permalink
    March 4, 2010 6:10 am

    Wisdom from “seasoned” mothers! (smiles)

  6. Dennis permalink
    March 4, 2010 2:45 pm

    Another perspective: since you feel pulled from both sides why fight it? Set a goal of a time in the future when you’ll return part-time. Read to keep professionally current. Take a class, or seminar, to stay employable in your field. Keep your options open. None of the above would stop your current plan. Talk with Danny and “sync up” once a month: has the mission changed? are we executing the plan the way we want? what can we do better?

    There is no “right” answer here. Go with your gut in the end.

  7. March 8, 2010 4:13 pm

    I want to add to the above…..a stay at home mom is a hard worker. Full of love and praise for the priviledge that God has given you. Motherhood is the most challenging but the most rewarding occupation ever!! There is no price to put on this occupation. It truly is a blessing! You will never, never regret being with Naftalie, seeing her first smile, feeding her her first bite of solid foods, seeing her take her first step, saying her first word…on and on! Think how hurt you would be if someone shared those precious moments with you instead of you being with her to get to praise her, hug her, cry with joy cuddling her in your arms. Please don’t second guess yourself. You are exactly where God intended you to be. She is growing up so fast already, enjoy every moment! We had to do without alot of things to allow me to be home with my blessings, but we were so much richer in the long run. I certainly understand there are times it is necessary for mothers to return to the work place and I am sad for them.
    Proverbs 3:5 & 6, my sweet Shannon, follow these verses and you will not go wrong. I love you!

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